My life has been a series of ups and downs for a few years now, and I mostly try to focus on the positive but there are many days that I struggle with severe depression and anxiety. It’s these times that are the hardest for me to stay in touch with reality and keep focus on the goals and the responsibilities that I have.
Night time is a difficult time for me, my anxiety kicks into high gear and a restful sleep is hard to obtain. I struggle with nightmares, anxiety and panic attacks throughout the night which is frightening and also very frustrating.
I also struggle to spend time with friends or to go out when there is a chance that there are going to be crowds. I fight against the constant urge to lock myself away in my room and ignore the world completely, but I know that if I were to make that choice I would only become worse in my anxiety.
It doesn’t make any of it easier.
Yesterday was #BellLetsTalk day and it was lovely to see friends and family sharing inspirational tweets and Facebook posts. It makes me feel a couple of things.
I feel proud of the people I know and love who are stepping out to speak against the stigma and negative thoughts against people who have a mental illness and promotes acceptance and love.
But it also makes me sad.
There are still prejudice and judgments towards people who have mental illness’. The thought of “Just suck it up” or “It’s not a real illness”, believe me because I’ve heard these and many other ignorant statements when I have been open about the mental illness’s I face on a daily basis.
It’s a difficult journey but I will give everything in me to win this fight. I may have doubts and rough days, but I cling to the fact that I have the support of amazing people in my life. And I will always support my friends through whatever emotional journey they face as well.
Remember that you are not alone and that there are resources available for anything that you may be facing.
Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868
I’m sending my love to everyone who reads this. You can make it through any storm you find yourself in, I believe in you!
Also if you have not seen Disney: Pixar’s “Inside Out” it is a great movie to understand how our emotions work and has helped me greatly.