Didn’t expect that did you?
Well sit back and relax, because I’m going to show it to you!
I will be the first to admit that I’m one of those particular people in the world who cranked “22”, and “Red” as loud as I could in my car (just check my top 25 most played), or cried along with “Teardrops on my guitar”, and “White Horse”.
But I stand by what I say: I think that Taylor Swift is secretly a Disney Villain.
First off let’s start off by examining what makes an adversary worthy of the title “Disney Villain”
1. Intelligence – The list is incredibly long with this one, because lets face it. Most Disney villains are intelligent, even though they never quite get things their way. On this list of course we have Mother Gothel (Tangled) who seemingly has a plan that is always one step ahead of the bored and lonesome Rapunzel, Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty) who once again hatches a plan that would have worked with 100% accuracy if it weren’t for the convenient timing of the Fairy “Merry-weather”, Hans (Frozen) another genius who takes charming steps to overthrow a kingdom in his dire circumstance of being the youngest in the family and twelve brothers ahead of him.
2. The appearance of being weak or friendly (Also can appear crazy or eccentric to achieve sympathy). Hans once again makes this list as he befriends Anna and attempts to woo her in order to secure a place in the kingdom. Scar (The Lion King) also plays the friendly uncle card while conniving a plan to take over the kingdom from his older brother.
A moment of silence for Mufasa.
3. Secret meaning in songs or dialogue: Gaston (Beauty and the Beast) has a line about every last inch of him being covered in hair; possibly he believes it’s an attribute that is found in dangerous animals and perhaps that fuels his jealousy of the beast? And Hans clearly depicts his entire motivation in the first line he sings: “I’ve been searching my whole life to find my own place” and he literally means her kingdom!
4. Intense. Eye. Contact. Evil Queen (Snow White), Hans (Again?…), and of course the scary Lady Tremaine (Cinderella).
5. A diabolical plan to defeat the protagonist (And an invested interest in the outcome of the unfolding events.): Hans ultimately wants the whole kingdom to himself, and he makes that perfectly clear when he leaves Anna to die and seeks out Elsa to take out his final obstacle. Mother Gothel traps Rapunzel in the tower and tells her lies in order to keep her and the magic hair at her disposal.
Now all of these qualities are what a Disney Villain strives for, but I have a particular villain in mind when it comes to the 1989 singer, and it’s: URSULA!!
Now hear me out…
Let’s objectively go through the list again and see what traits are similar between Taylor and Ursula.
1. Intelligence –
Ok this one is fairly easy because Ursula is obviously quite intelligent because she not only tricks Ariel into giving up one her most important traits, she is also has the smarts to watch, infiltrate and trick the prince into falling for her. All the while using Ariel’s voice I might add.
No matter what your opinion of Taylor is, you have to admit that she has got smarts when it comes to the media and how she handles every single thing thrown at her. You’re gonna talk smack about her? She’s gonna write a hit song. You steal her moment in the spot light and she will turn her Doe Eyes on you and say something articulate. Which brings me to:
2. The appearance of being weak or friendly (Also can appear crazy or eccentric to achieve sympathy):
Ursula appears to Ariel as someone who can fix her problems with a simple solution. Even though Ariel doesn’t trust Ursula, and with good reason, Ariel still gives up her voice for only a possible chance with the prince.
T-Swift has been the poster child of sweet and innocent for years, with her uncontrollable curls and catchy tunes about boys, pick-up trucks, and being mean. And even now she has taken the words against her and put them into a catchy, and overplayed tune.
She just seems to be writing about your life, right?
3. Secret meaning in songs or dialogue:
During Ursula’s song, she mentions that she is simply helping people who need it. She also mentions that when they are unable to pay, she turns them into her little worm things. There are also a couple of times when she speaks to her eels and this is a conversation that is only shared with the audience. I also love the part after she reveals the payment of Ariel’s voice, where she assures Ariel that a man does not want a woman who is outspoken, talented, or quite frankly smart. All things that Ursula herself then uses to snag the prince.
There are always hidden meaning in the lyrics of Taylor’s songs. She of course has already shown that she believes the world needs to hear her voice. She sings of being strong, capable, not afraid to wear her heart on her sleeve. We are all naive (or playing dumb) if we listen to the lyrics of her songs and don’t pick out which former (or current) boyfriend she is singing about. She has even been so bold as to use a former flames ACTUAL name in her song!
4. Intense. Eye. Contact. May I be ever-so-subtle, and point to the picture above…
5. A diabolical plan to defeat the protagonist (And an invested interest in the outcome of the unfolding events.):
Of course Ursula’s end game is to enslave King Triton and rule the ocean. And heck, she might even enjoy some manipulation of the prince while she’s at it.
Taylor on the other hand has not shown us all of her cards, so we can’t be certain of the outcome that is to fall upon us, but if we know anything about her inevitable game plan it’s that she will go big before she ever thinks about going home.
And with the most recent romantic entanglement with the man who portrays our beloved Asgardian Prince, it’s only a short time before her plan is fully upon us and there is no turning back.
I know that this is simply a comparison of a person to a fictional character, and not all of their motivations or particulars match. But It does seem to me as if she has some pretty close similarities to a certain enchantress under the sea.
Or she’s Hans from frozen.